I brought home Halloween candy for the candy jar on the dining table. Dad opens the jar and starts digging in the candy.

Dad: Chocolate  bars have shrunk since I was a kid. They used to be huge and now they are these little teeny bite things.”

Me: They are called fun size, Dad.

Dad: Why are they called fun size? There’s nothing fun about those. Hand me ten of them, would ya?

Me: It’s defeating the purpose of the fun size, Dad. Fun size is so you get a taste but don’t mess up your diabetic numbers.

Dad: I don’t want a taste it. I want to EAT it. Hand over ten of those…

I hand him ten of the fun size. He takes each wrapper off and sets them side by side.

Dad: Now that’s a candy bar.

He plops one at a time in his mouth and licks each finger. Then we both hear a *shuffle, shuffle, thump* come down the hall. It’s the sound of Mom’s signature walk. He looks at his pile of fun size wrappers and pushes them all in front of me except one.

Dad: Our little secret, okay?

Mom comes in and looks at me, looks at the wrappers, and looks at Dad. She pushes the wrappers to his side of the table.

Mom: Did you really think that I would think Bethie ate all those?! Honestly…

Dad: Oops, I’ve been caught.

He grabs two more fun size chocolates.

Dad: Looks like you need to buy more of these…