Grandpa watches Grandma make his breakfast every morning and the whole time he is comments on all that she could do differently. He’s been doing this for the past sixty five years.

Grandpa in a teasing voice: You noticed Grandma gives me the ends of the banana in my cereal. How come I get the ends? All my life I have gotten the short end of the stick. Why should now be any different?

Grandma: You’re lucky I’ve made your breakfast every morning for most of my life. I’d just pipe down if I were you.

Grandpa: I’ll pipe down when you give me that good ol’ center of the banana.

Grandma gives him his cereal with the ends of the banana in it.

Grandpa: Do you see this? I’ve been mistreated all my life. The ends of the banana.

Grandma: You’re lucky I don’t put the strings in as well…honestly…

Grandpa just doesn’t know when to stop. He tells everyone at the table how neglected he is as Grandma gets more annoyed. Grandma sighs heavily.

The next morning he starts it up again.

Grandpa: I suppose you’re going to give me the ends of the banana like you have for the past sixty five years. You know, I don’t even know what the center of a banana tastes like.

Grandma: Do you even know how to peel a banana on your own?

Grandpa: Oh sure, beat up the old and decrepit.

Grandma continues to make breakfast.

Grandpa: You’d think that as old as I am that I would one day see what it was like to eat the center of the banana…

Grandma comes over with Grandpa’s bowl. Right in the center of his bowl is two halves of a banana with the peel still on sticking up like statues in the middle of his milk and cherrios.

Grandma: How’s that working for ya? Huh? Just like you like it; two yellow banana wieners sticking up out of the middle of your breakfast cereal. Think maybe you could peel them on your own or do you need a little help with that?

Grandpa: It’s fine, just fine.

He leans over to Peanut and whispers loudly: I never did know when to shut up. But once she draws the line in the sand I know what side to stand on…Grandma’s.

Grandma: You bet your booty! There is only one side to stand on in this house and that is mine especially since I am the one that prepares your food.

Then she adds in: Bethie, did you order that arsenic for me online? You know the one that is disguised in two banana halves?!

Grandpa: You know, I really like the ends of a banana. It’s my favorite part…